escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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