Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The air taste purple.
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