this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
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Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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