Can Purell be used as lube?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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