Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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