Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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