I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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