"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
