My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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