Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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