I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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