You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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