where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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