can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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