meet me or not, i'm out of control
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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