This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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