We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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