you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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