Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize