im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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