Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
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My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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