I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize