It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize