your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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