I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have so much sex to catch up on
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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