Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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