my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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