Don't you send me to vm
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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