looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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