my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Man, jail baloney is awful.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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