saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize