The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize