FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize