with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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