Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (703)

Last Night in Virginia (703)

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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'

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(703): Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention' http://tfl.nu/1dne

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We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.

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(703): We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day. http://tfl.nu/6fp1

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I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.

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(703): I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault. http://tfl.nu/ytww

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screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

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(703): screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko. http://tfl.nu/s10e

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Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?

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(703): Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible? http://tfl.nu/w9is

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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.

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(703): I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA. http://tfl.nu/tqpj

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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)

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(703): So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:) http://tfl.nu/uwez

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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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(703): Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge. http://tfl.nu/w6ag

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Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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(703): Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress. http://tfl.nu/zjlr

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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.

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(703): Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done. http://tfl.nu/tk11

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I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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(703): I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform. http://tfl.nu/4ptq

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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.

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(703): Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys. http://tfl.nu/ay7v

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I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.

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(703): I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia. http://tfl.nu/9rne

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I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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(703): I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues http://tfl.nu/075m

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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.

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(703): I've been living off of popsicles and broth. http://tfl.nu/8x3l

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Last Night in Virginia (703)

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