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Last Night in Nebraska (402)

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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"

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(402): He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by" http://tfl.nu/24bz

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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO

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(402): THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO http://tfl.nu/qx0l

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WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!

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(402): WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?! http://tfl.nu/drpl

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He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.

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(402): He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help. http://tfl.nu/brln

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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

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(402): Now back to adults eating hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/i07d

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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.

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(402): His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time. http://tfl.nu/xcon

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Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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(402): Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night? http://tfl.nu/skph

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Almost there.

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define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.

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(402): Almost there. (1-402): define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway. http://tfl.nu/xjed

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You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.

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Touche salesman.

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(402): You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less. (1-402): Touche salesman. http://tfl.nu/st32

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Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.

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(402): Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right. http://tfl.nu/g2lt

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Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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(402): Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag. http://tfl.nu/nvod

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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.

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(402): Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off. http://tfl.nu/7cqo

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I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha

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(402): I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha http://tfl.nu/npx2

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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.

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(402): I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody. http://tfl.nu/us3z

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Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.

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(402): Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal. http://tfl.nu/0e3u

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Last Night in Nebraska (402)

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