Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Indiana (812)

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.

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  (812): An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw. http://tfl.nu/0rhv
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  She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.

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  (812): She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch. http://tfl.nu/v1q1
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  Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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  (812): Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts http://tfl.nu/1kvs
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  whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"

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  (812): whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight" http://tfl.nu/xl0q
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  I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you

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  (812): I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you http://tfl.nu/vw2w
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  I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.

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  (812): I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed. http://tfl.nu/eaqv
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  I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.

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  (812): I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can. http://tfl.nu/gz33
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  Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there

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  (812): Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there http://tfl.nu/jzmv
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  I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.

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  (812): I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated. http://tfl.nu/dk0w
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  last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.

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  (812): last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out. http://tfl.nu/4jcj
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  I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?

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  (812): I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/ubnw
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  Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

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  ...the American dream.

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  (812): Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit. (1-812): ...the American dream. http://tfl.nu/qt7c
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  If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours

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  (812): If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours http://tfl.nu/smol
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  I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.

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  (812): I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand. http://tfl.nu/31me
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  I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.

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  (812): I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits. http://tfl.nu/nvjd
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