Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (828)

Last Night in North Carolina (828)

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out

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(828): Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out http://tfl.nu/cm81

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It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it

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(828): It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it http://tfl.nu/e4ef

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Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it

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(828): Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it http://tfl.nu/gdjw

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I just blew my weed a kiss

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(828): I just blew my weed a kiss http://tfl.nu/vers

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You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.

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(828): You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium. http://tfl.nu/fgxx

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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.

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..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.

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(828): remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch. (1-828): ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so. http://tfl.nu/n0v1

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Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.

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(828): Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state. http://tfl.nu/9dzb

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he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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(828): he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me? http://tfl.nu/mhv8

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you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.

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(828): you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire. http://tfl.nu/efxs

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nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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(828): nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote... http://tfl.nu/xy7a

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i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?

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(828): i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am? http://tfl.nu/68cf

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

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(828): Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole" http://tfl.nu/3q74

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YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.

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(828): YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED. http://tfl.nu/ns1x

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Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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(828): Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado http://tfl.nu/of4e

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At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point

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(828): At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point http://tfl.nu/0f47

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Last Night in North Carolina (828)

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