Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (585)

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  (585): View more from New York

  are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

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  (585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs
  Replies (31) Good night (5130) Bad night (1776) Order T-Shirt
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  Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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  (585): Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did. http://tfl.nu/1e6o
  Replies (27) Good night (554) Bad night (12763) Order T-Shirt
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  we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist

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  (585): we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist http://tfl.nu/e75m
  Replies (19) Good night (6767) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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  (585): Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/iu2u
  Replies (33) Good night (3677) Bad night (1104) Order T-Shirt
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  This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....

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  (585): This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time..... http://tfl.nu/b6dm
  Replies (13) Good night (3545) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.

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  (585): I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me. http://tfl.nu/00st
  Replies (27) Good night (4647) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"

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  (585): i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in" http://tfl.nu/uuti
  Replies (6) Good night (4078) Bad night (1129) Order T-Shirt
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  broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

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  you're writing country songs now?

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  (585): broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me. (716): you're writing country songs now? http://tfl.nu/hdm9
  Replies (32) Good night (1701) Bad night (6470)
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  Congratulations on your moose knuckle.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.

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  (585): Congratulations on your moose knuckle. (614): Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated. http://tfl.nu/9z1g
  Replies (7) Good night (2736) Bad night (730)
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  WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

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  (585): WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET http://tfl.nu/jxod
  Replies (17) Good night (897) Bad night (4718) Order T-Shirt
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  i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject

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  (585): i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject http://tfl.nu/mz5t
  Replies (8) Good night (639) Bad night (3413) Order T-Shirt
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  It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.

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  (585): It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight. http://tfl.nu/zyt9
  Replies (10) Good night (3282) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.

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  (585): This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation. http://tfl.nu/p6rk
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  even my farts smell like vagina

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  (585): even my farts smell like vagina http://tfl.nu/9cib
  Replies (10) Good night (766) Bad night (3318) Order T-Shirt
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  Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?

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  (585): Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58? http://tfl.nu/d4gh
  Replies (13) Good night (931) Bad night (3932) Order T-Shirt