Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Arizona (928)

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  (928): View more from Arizona

  i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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  (928): i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now http://tfl.nu/zt2g
  Replies (19) Good night (509) Bad night (5465) Order T-Shirt
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  its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.

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  (928): its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u. http://tfl.nu/h95p
  Replies (22) Good night (1342) Bad night (3727)
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  This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

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  (928): This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/2tuo
  Replies (15) Good night (942) Bad night (3490) Order T-Shirt
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  She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

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  (928): She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon. http://tfl.nu/cf99
  Replies (31) Good night (8340) Bad night (2794) Order T-Shirt
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  Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.

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  (928): Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night. http://tfl.nu/fjny
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  Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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  (928): Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/yr6e
  Replies (18) Good night (1404) Bad night (2722) Order T-Shirt
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  His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.

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  (928): His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart. http://tfl.nu/4aul
  Replies (7) Good night (529) Bad night (2351) Order T-Shirt
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  He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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  (928): He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero http://tfl.nu/1qw2
  Replies (6) Good night (621) Bad night (2193) Order T-Shirt
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  Dude. Her vagina is a blender.

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  (928): Dude. Her vagina is a blender. http://tfl.nu/0shv
  Replies (19) Good night (464) Bad night (1805) Order T-Shirt
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  OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.

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  (928): OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED. http://tfl.nu/kgw5
  Replies (60) Good night (676) Bad night (1784) Order T-Shirt
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  The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.

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  (928): The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death. http://tfl.nu/lz31
  Replies (11) Good night (370) Bad night (1676) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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  (928): I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad. http://tfl.nu/59qz
  Replies (26) Good night (719) Bad night (1623) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"

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  (928): I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?" http://tfl.nu/rf85
  Replies (32) Good night (7889) Bad night (1562) Order T-Shirt
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  Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

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  (928): Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex". http://tfl.nu/7v4e
  Replies (56) Good night (30164) Bad night (1425) Order T-Shirt
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  If this party got busted it would be an improvement

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  (928): If this party got busted it would be an improvement http://tfl.nu/vaa5
  Replies (7) Good night (443) Bad night (1376) Order T-Shirt