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i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
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