Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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