you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
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He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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