How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize