yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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