Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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