if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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