Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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