i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize