If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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