What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Come on in and take your pants off
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