I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize